Friday, 15 July 2011

Reflecting on Reflection on Role

Wigglesweets doesn’t really set a task for this Thing as such, instead asking for a consideration of one’s personal approach to reflective practice. So, my first thought on reading the blog post: “urgh - reflective practice!”. Let’s start with a confession; I pretty much hate reflecting on myself, assessing my achievements and setting targets. I was forced to do it in school from about the age of seven, and I’ve never been able to shake going into an immediate juvenile ‘no, I hate this, it’s rubbish’ paddy every time someone suggests reviewing performance and progress. My first instinct when asked to reflect to write a pat response which has little or no value or meaning to me; this, obviously, limits the resultant document’s helpfulness.

I’ve got to become better at reflective practice, because it forms a key part of writing a successful Chartership portfolio. I’m currently working on developing my PPDP for the next 12-18 months, which I suspect would be more effective/useful if I first identify which areas I could do with development in. I can’t usefully use my work PDR to inform this, as it refers to local targets and (as a non-professional position) focuses on moulding me to their needs rather than facilitating personal growth. I think that my problem is that I... am self-obsessed? Far too many personal pronouns there! I don’t like thinking about my positive qualities, because it feels self-congratulatory, and when considering my failings I tend to begin equivocating and justifying why this is the case. I externalise blame and internalise success, but cannot sufficiently get outside myself to consider myself - what a horrible sentence. This is like pulling teeth.

Bottom line: I need to get better at reflective practice. To the books!

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